Reflections at 40: My Top 10 Keys to Life

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I turned 40 years old today. Feels a lot like yesterday to be honest. The following are the principles I have lived my life by -- some I found on my own, some I have learned from others and carry forward. If a person can take something away with them for this list, then I have made the world a better place.

 

Mike's Keys to Success in Life

 

10. Always run through 1st base. Do not slide, ever.

9. Never touch monkeys -- do not hand the animal currency -- under any circumstances.

8. Stop the meds; you don't need them. Face the challenge with a clear mind.

7. In a heated argument, never ask a question you don't already know the answer to.

6. Do not give your partner/spouse a time you'll be home. You'll be home when you're home.

5. Tequila gets you sick or arrested. If you're going to go for it, then go for it.

4. If an object looks too heavy, don't even consider picking it up.

3. You can never have enough whiffle balls.

2. Do not ask your spouse/partner "what's wrong" unless you are ready to engage in a long discussion.

1. Never lie to Congress.

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We Americans Love to Build, Destroy and with newfound success... Love

V_pentouse
With Steve Jobs deciding to enjoy the time he has left, and the overwhelming digital/cyber ticker-tape fan-fare we've celebrated in honor of his retirement, I cannot help but point out a fairly sound and uncomfortable fact we share as Americans. We love to build up our heros, rip them down (not to the ground, but uterilly bury them) and, if they can somehow stababize and fight back to stardom, we cannozie them.

Don't believe me? Let's take a spin on the "oh shit, I forgot that" train.

Steve Jobs: Founder/Visionary of Apple -- banned for life for his uncompromizing entreprenurial ways -- brought back and grew Apple's market cap to #1 on the planet.

Venessa Williams: Miss USA -- lesbian spread in Penthouse with George Burns cover (Oh God! She's Nude) -- Disney's favorite star. (Reread: DISNEY!)

John Travolta: Welcome Back Kotter/Saturday Night Fever/Grease - insane, higher being freak -- Pulp Ficton comeback hero

Michael Jordan: Bulls, Bulls, Bulls -- gambling/baseball -- Bulls, Bulls, Bulls

Can Tiger make this list? Dunno.

 

 

 

The Cause, Blame and Solution to America's Debt Crisis

 

 

Cause: An unnecessary war

 

The Bush Administration first tried to tie Iraq to 9/11, then later asserted Iraq had weapons of mass destruction (which we had strong evidence: the sales receipts). A war of choice, to eliminate a family enemy. $780 billion dollars spent on the Iraq war since 2001.

 

The Blame: The foolish Americans who were duped into the bin Laden story and later believed the smoke of "photos and mobile weapons facilities".

 

The Solution: Get the heck out of Iraq now -- Afghanistan tomorrow - and everyone who voted for Bush twice gets re-hired last, tax cuts never and must repeat to everyone they meet the wisdom of Benjamin Franklin: "Any society which would give up a little liberty for a little security, deserve neither and will lose both." 

 

Franklin forgot to mention one more thing that society loses: their ass.

 

 

 

 

I feel sick for Huma

I was in DC for a fundraiser in 2004 called the "Unity Dinner". It was to show everyone (in the room) that the Democratic Party was behind Sir-Talks-Alot John Kerry to challenge Bush in the November general election. I supported Dick Gephardt in the Dem primary and when he and Howard Dean went nuclear on each other eight days before the Iowa Caucus, the two of them went from 1&2 to 3&4...and that was the end of that. The path was paved for Senator Kerry.

Back to Washington. It was a great weekend for a couple of reasons. At this massive event with seemingly hundreds of tables of 10...the guy who sits down next to me for dinner is Senator Joe Biden and his then Chief of Staff Danny O'Brien. So, the three Irish Americans get along famously during dinner and I support Joe (spiritually) till this day. [Amazing guy, amazing story and if you want to disagree, I will fight you.]

Another event during the weekend was a reception at Ambassador Bagley's residence. Pretty amazing place and the celeb of the moment was Senator Hillary Clinton. In she comes....she's exhausted from what I assume is another 14 hour day.

I wanted to say hello having never met the D_NY, but wasn't about to work hard to push through the living room and take out an antique more valuable than my life. Low and below, an extremely gentle and compassionate creature emerges from the fray and asks if I'd like to meet Mrs. Clinton. This is a bit surprising given everyone in politics in DC is all about that same person in politics from DC.

Huma_hillary

Surprised, I turn to this woman and I think I recognize her. I introduce myself (no, I don't know her), but I tell her I remember her from Hillary's biography as she's mentioned more than once and the photo nailed it for my memory.

Huma Abediin was and still is, (now) Secretary of State Hillary Clinton's close confidants. I was stuck by her generosity, calmness, attractiveness certainly -- but the less obvious forms of beauty -- as she carried herself.

It is truly unfortunate that circumstance has brought her marriage to the mainstream with Congressman Weiner's scandal. Moreover is the irony -- the suffering Hillary endured is already upon one of her closest confederates.

 

I'll bet Sportsbook.com is gonna have another excuse

Sportsbook400

The best thing about Americans is that we don't quit and we certainly don't take shit from anyone. It's in our blood, and the world has learned this over the last couple of centuries. We are remembered the fallen on Memorial Day yesterday-- the countless men and women who gave their lives for ours.

Well in the spirit of not backing down as well as protecting other Americans, I am about to rip the shit out of sportsbook.com. I know I'll never get a nickel they owe me, and I'd feel horrible if I didn't post this loudly so that perhaps another unsuspecting player bets with them and is unable to collect their winnings. I feel I'm uniquely qualified to do so because I get social media pretty well - when I searched for reviews on sportsbook.com before I played, I couldn't find anything sustantial on them. I'm happy to say my SEO team will make sure anyone looking to vet sportsbook.com will find this post.

 

Sportsbook
The short of it is, I found sportsbook.com online, bet, eventually won and after a litany of excuses from them, I understand I will never get paid.

I unfortunately found the site on my own without a recommendation, just stumbled upon them on the web. As mentioned, I tried to find info on them, but like the other places I checked out, they all looked the same, similar deposit bonuses, etc. So, I signed up, played a little on games and lost. Played a little more and lost, then came the NCAA National Championship between the Butler Bulldogs and the University of Connenticut Huskies.

I am a big fan of Indiana University stats prof Wayne Winston (@winston3453). He is the author of Mathletics and his blog is about applying math to athletics to better predict outcomes. Like an economist, Wayne uses data to explain why things happened -- but unlike economists, he takes a shot at predicting outcomes. I like the cache. On April 3rd, Wayne posted on Twitter that Butler only had a 1/3 chance of beating UConn. I laid the points and went against the pride of Indianapolis. 

April 4, 2011 - UConn defeats Butler.

April 6 - I request to withdrawal all funds in the account (with the intention of closing it). 

April 15 

1:59 pm

Sportsbook.com

Dear Michael,

I am writing to inform you of an unfortunate situation with one of our withdrawal processing partners, which affected your processed check for $XXXXXX requested from your account XXXXXXXX on 4/6/2011. 

To be frank, since the UIGEA was passed over 2 years ago it has had varied success in clamping down on banking transactions involved with online gaming, these rare and unwelcome issues do occur but please rest assured your funds are completely safe and so is our ability to continue serving your gaming needs.

Unfortunately, as a result of this some of our processors experience intermittent difficulties to get your withdrawals to you. Such a situation has arisen with your latest withdrawal identified above. The processor has advised that effective from April 12th they have been notified that checks will not be cleared by the handling bank. What this means is that if you deposited the check prior to April 12th it will clear but if you deposited from the 12th onwards it will not clear but bounce. If you have not deposited the check yet please do not do so, as it will bounce.

We are working with the processor to have this resolved as soon as possible and will give you an update as soon as we have further information which will be early next week. 

In the meantime please accept our apologies for any inconvenience this situation causes you.

3:14 pm

Me: No worries, I deposited the check on the 8th, so we'll be fine.

 

April 20

6:44 am

Me: The check bounced and I incurred a fee. This is ridiculous. Wire the funds at your expense today.

 

Que: Benny Hill and continue reading

(download)

 

 

April 21

4:15 am

Sportsbook.com:

Dear Michael,

Thank you for contacting us.

We really apologize for this situation. In order to complete the process of returning funds in your account faster, we need you to please send us a copy of the bounced check or the statement where the bank informed you that the check bounced.

7:55 am

Me:

 How are you going to get me the funds? Wire or another check? You told me the check was going to bounce and now you need proof that it did?

 8:11 am

Me: 

Look, I have tried to get my money for a couple of weeks now. First you couldn't wire to my bank. Then you sent a check that bounced. How are you getting me these funds today?


3:09 pm

Sportsbook.com:

Dear Michael,

Thank you for contacting us.

Please scan your documents and upload them using our secure form here. <https://services.gamingsystem.net/csWebMailForm/gui/csWebMailForm.php?toEmail...

The scanned documents in total should not exceed 5MB in size.  If you have saved your images as .jpg files, they will be compressed and size should not present a problem. 

If you don't have access to a scanner you can use a digital camera (or your phone) to take a clear photograph of the required documentation. You can then upload the image to your computer as a jpeg file and send it to us via the secure form.

If you use your phone, you can navigate to our secure form using your phone's internet browser or simply choose the 'email' option to send the image to us.

Again, please make sure that the image clearly shows all the relevant info. It must be in focus and adequately lit so that all text on the documentation is legible.

You can also email the information to Documents@gamingsuppport.net 

 


Sportsbook.com

Dear Michael,

Thank you for contacting us.

We really apologize for this situation. In order to complete the process of returning funds in your account faster, we need you to please send us a copy of the bounced check or the statement where the bank informed you that the check bounced.

8:51 pm Me: 

 Just received this message from your Withdraw Dept:

If you deposited the check prior last week's communication and have received notice that it was returned unpaid, please email us a scanned copy of the returned check and on receipt, we will immediately credit the funds back into your gaming account. In addition, if you incurred any charges due to this, please forward a copy of the statement detailing these to enable us to credit these to your V-Chip balance. 

You won't give me my cash??? instead want me to keep betting until it's gone? No. Wire the money! I am believing your company is a sham.

 

1:56 pm

Sportsbook.com

Dear Michael,

Thank you for contacting us.

To allow us to resolve this issue more efficiently, please send us a copy of the check which was returned from your bank. We apologize for any inconvenience this issue has caused and can assure you that your documentation will be reviewed as soon as possible once received so this matter can be resolved without any further undue delay.

You can scan and upload the documents in our secure form here.

The scanned documents in total should not exceed 5MB in size.  If you have saved your images as .jpg files, they will be compressed and size should not present a problem.

Once we have fully reviewed your documents we will email you with an update.  

 

2:02 pm

Me: Attached. The link you provided doesn’t work (I am not surprised).

 

April 22

10:39 am

Sportsbook.com:

Dear Michael,

Thank you for contacting us.

Please accept our apologies for the inconvenience. Our supervisor email is Aston.K@sportsbook.com Please note In order to solve this issue sooner please send us the copy of the bounced check through the secure link.

10:41 am

Me:

I have already uploaded the returned check image and received a confirmation from you on 4/21 at 3:30 pm CST.

April 24

8:44 am

Sportsbook.com:

Dear Michael,

Thank you for contacting us.

Please accept our pologies for the inconvenience caused. To allow us to resolve this issue more efficiently, please send us a copy of the check which was returned from your bank. We apologize for any inconvenience this issue has caused and can assure you that your documentation will be reviewed as soon as possible once received so this matter can be resolved without any further undue delay. 

You can scan and upload the documents in our secure form here. <https://services.gamingsystem.net/csWebMailForm/gui/csWebMailForm.php?toEmail...

The scanned documents in total should not exceed 5MB in size.  If you have saved your images as .jpg files, they will be compressed and size should not present a problem. 

Once we have fully reviewed your documents we will email you with an update.

8:49 am

Me: 
You already have a copy of the bounced check. You sent me an email before it bounced saying it was going to bounce. This is turning into a farce. I need the email of a supervisor now.

April 27

2:04 pm

Sportsbook.com

 

Thank you for contacting us. 

We have received your email and are assigning it to a representative. If you sent in documentation which was unclear or further information is required to resolve your account issue, you will be emailed as soon as possible with a detailed description of what we still require. 

Please note that it can take up to 72 hours for us to fully review the information, so we kindly ask that you remain patient.


May 4

 

5:57 pm

Sportsbook.com

Dear Michael,

Thank you for contacting us.

This is a quick message to inform you that we need you to enter that information on the cashier.

6:00 pm

Me:

I already did - 10 days ago.

 

May 5

8:17 am

Me: 

What are you asking? I am sure you understand how frustrated I am trying to get my money out for a month, right? How does this get finished now?

12:55 pm

Sportsbook.com:

Dear Michael,

Thank you for contacting us.

Please accept our apologies for the inconvenience. Please make the request of your withdrawal online in order to start the processing time frame on the funds. 

12:57 pm

Me:

I DID THIS ALREADY!!!!!!!! I put in my bank info and the documents department said they need another document showing my personal name on it. I uploaded this. When will the funds be transferred???????

12:55 pm

Sportsbook.com:

Dear Michael,

Thank you for contacting us.

Please accept our apologies for the inconvenience. Please make the request of your withdrawal online in order to start the processing time frame on the funds.

1:08 pm

Me: 

This is absolutely absurd – it has gone beyond my tolerance threshold. It has been one month since I tried to withdrawal funds. I will publicly rip Sportsbook.com now as I realize you’ll never send me my money.

Thanks a bunch.


4:49 pm

Sportsbook.com:

Dear Michael,

Thank you for contacting us.

Please bear in mind we cancelled your previous withdrawal and the money has been credited back to your gaming account. We need you to request your withdrawal online, we cannot request the withdrawal for you.

In order to see the withdrawal options available to you, please click on the Cashier or Banking link and log-in if you have not already done so. Then choose the Withdraw tab to arrive at the Withdrawal Type page which displays the options available. You can mouse over the '?' buttons to display information balloons that contain further details pertaining to the particular withdrawal options. Fees and minimum/maximum amounts are shown on the Withdrawal Type table.

The complete 'Terms and Conditions' relating to withdrawing from our site are available underneath the withdrawal options.

To make your withdrawal, just follow these instructions:

  • Click on the 'Withdraw' button next to the option of your choice to arrive at the Withdrawal Info page.
  • Fill in the amount you wish to withdraw (in accordance with the minimums and maximums stated on the previous page).
  • Check that your address is correct. You may change your mailing address and/or update your billing address if necessary. Click on 'Change' or 'Update' to go to the My Account area. When you have finished you will be returned to the Withdrawal Info page.
  • Enter your PIN number and click on continue to arrive at the Withdrawal Confirmation page.
  • Review your withdrawal details and if all is correct, click on submit. This will take you to the Withdrawal Success Page where you will see all the information pertaining to your withdrawal request with the facility to print for your records, if desired.

From this page you also have the option to cancel your withdrawal, view your withdrawal history or go back to the Withdrawal Options Page. 

4:57 pm

Me: 

I did put through a third withdrawal request.

The first was denied because you said you cannot wire money to a bank in the US.

The second was a check you mailed to me and bounced.

The third was a wire request to XXXXXXXX.

How do Americans get money out of Sportsbook.com?

 May 6

10:21am

Sportsbook.com:

Dear Michael,

Thank you for contacting us.

Since you already accomplished sending all the required information to process a withdrawal, you can process your one trough one of the following methods:

Bank wire: (Trough the authorized bank you sent the required information) For verification purposes you will be required to provide a voided check or statement for the bank account to which you would like your funds to be sent. Unless it is your first withdrawal of the month, a bank wire request of less than $2,000.00 will be subject to a $40.00 processing fee and a request of $2,001.00 or more will be subject to a 2% processing fee. The maximum you can request is $25,000. The processing time-frame is 2-3 weeks.

Check via courier:  The maximum check amount is $2500. Unless it is your first withdrawal of the month, a check request will be subject to standard fee of $40.00. The processing time-frame is 2-3 weeks. We may send you a Gift Card instead of a check; this is a one use card allowing you instant access to your funds.

Other methods:  Alternative payment methods may be used at our discretion. You will be informed of these as and when they become available.

Your Personal Identification Number (PIN) is required before you can withdraw any funds from your account. It is a further step in securing that only you can access money in your account. This number was sent to you via email when you signed up but, if you have forgotten it, you can retrieve it through the secure 'My Account' area of the website. 

10:33 am

Me:  How will I know the check won’t bounce again?


May 15

Sportsbook.com:

Dear Michael,

Thank you for contacting us.

This is a quick message to inform you that the time frame for withdrawals is up to 2-3 weeks, we'll do our best to process it as soon as possible.

May 16

3:55 pm

Me: 

 When can I expect the funds to be in my  bank account?

 

May 30

8:11 am

Me: 

It will be three weeks on Wednesday 1 June since my withdrawal request (my third different attempt to withdrawal funds). I will be extremely disappointed if this final attempt is unsuccessful.

11:02 am

Sportsbook.com:

Dear Michael,

Thank you for contacting us.

Please note the time frame we advertise on the site to process withdrawals is 4-6 weeks. 

This is the timeframe provided us by our new processors; unfortunately we have to stick to their rules. Rest assured that we are working on that to change it as soon as possible. We will do the best to send the funds sooner.

 

11:57 am

Me:

Two things you need to be aware of. 1st is the email you sent earlier says 2 - 3 weeks. Second is a intend to post all these exchanges on the web so others can see how this process developed. Saving another player from this madness now feels like a responsibility.

 

2:55 pm

 Sportsbook.com

Dear Michael,

Thank you for contacting us.

Please note the time frame we advertise on the site to process withdrawals is 4-6 weeks. 

This is the timeframe provided us by our new processors; unfortunately we have to stick to their rules. Rest assured that we are working on that to change it as soon as possible. We will do the best to send the funds sooner. 

 

3:11 pm

 

Sportsbook.com: 

Dear Michael ,

 

Thank you for contacting us.

We had to increase our withdrawal timeframe in order to provide a realistic timeframe based on our current processing capabilities. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause you. A withdrawal can take from 4 to 6 weeks from the moment requested. So, yours will be processed accordingly within this timeframe.

6:19 pm

 

Me: 

Fine. I'm never getting my money and I will use all my SEO and social networking knowledge to spread the word that you're a scam. THIS IS GONNA BE FUN! Go to hell.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Feeling Randy? He's on to bigger and better things...

453362

There are a few days that will "rock" one's childhood... Doesn't affect your personal or professional life, but they rattle your cage just enough and remind you that time, unapologetically, marches on.

Today I learned one of my childhood icons grabbed the early checkout before the Mayan Apocalypse (scheduled in my Outlook calendar for tomorrow, 21 May 2011). Ironically, given today's prevalence of social media, I did not receive a phone call, an email or tweet informing me of this information, but instead learned that Randy "Macho Man" Savage died today via the plain 'ol web -- it’s like grabbing the morning newspaper off the porch in 1991and learning of the news over coffee. In a global society where all of us are told: "Relevant information finds you before you are looking for it", I had to stumble upon this tragedy via happenstance.

A little color as to why this hits close to 7228 N Oleander, Chicago, IL where I grew up. First: Umm......... it is the 21st Century, USA! Greatest place ever for health care...where people will live to 140 years old right?...  However, the Macho Man passes on at 58.

Second is the intrinsic value of the childhood icon.

In the spirit of full disclosure, I had a happy childhood -- mostly because I was a fucking child and had no idea how other children lived. Dad worked hard on the Chicago Fire Department and Ma worked harder raising us six brats. Not a care in the world: Eight people, one shower (and one super-cool laundry shoot Dad bult from the second floor to the basement which one day I shall replicate).

Nevertheless, my siblings and I had more than a 99.9% of other kids on the planet and we could not be happier. I had two favorite articles of clothing: the first, an iron-on Daisy Dukes t-shirt and a purple Randy "Macho Man" Savage tee. I wore Daisy until I broke her (sorry, but it is unequivocally true) and she was unfit for the general public --- and the Randy-T, until someone (MOM!) bleached the shit outta it and made me look like a 14-year-old Dead Head. Didn't know what 'dead heat' meant, but the bleach made the thing fall off my pasty while, unathletic frame soon there after. I wore the shirt constantly, because as a child, I thought Randy Savage was funny as all get out. When I learned he was actually a minor-league baseball player, my respect grew.

Megapowers2
Incredibly entertaining -- I was probably more into how his personna than his performance. I loved when he messed with Mean Gene and the pre-steroid Vince McMahon. It was hard for those guys to keep a straight face. However, his wrestling performance was pretty amazing as well --  specifically, he left the third turnbuckle higher than anyone at that time, which the exception of Jimmy "Super Fly" Sunka. Savage cracked me up and was popular for many-a-Wrestle Mania...but a fine wrestler nevertheless.*

Randy "Macho Man' Savage was as entertaining as anyone in the field before or since because he had real talent. In 1998, he accepted an award from Harvard University's humor society Harvard Lampoon as Man of the Year. The Medal of Honor this is not; and certainly he never rose politically or cinematically like Ventura or Schwarzenegger....but in Savage's defense, he neither suggested 9/11 was caused by explosives nor fathered a child with the help (as far as we know at the time of this blog post).

I was a fan of Randy Savage in my childhood -- haven't thought about him in a couple of decades -- but tonight, "Would I try my darndest to squeeze into that purple t-shirt if I still had it?" 

(download)

 OOOH YEAH!!!!!!!!!! 

 Randy "Macho Man" Savage. Dead at 58.

 

 

 


* At this point, I'd be remiss if I did not list Randy's signature moves (tip of the hat to Wikipedia) 

Signature moves

§                     Alternating jabs to the opponent's chest and head

§                     Atomic drop

§                     Diving crossbody

§                     Diving double axe handle [sometimes to an opponent outside the ring]

§                     Hair-pull hangma

§                     High knee smash

§                     Jumping knee drop

§                     Lariat takedon

§                     Piledriver

§                     Scoop slam

§                     Snapmare

§     Various elbow strike

§              Vertical suplex

 

The Bulls are back on TV... in my house.

With the Chicago Bulls taking on the Miami Heat in the 2010-11 Eastern Conference Finals, I had more than one friend ask me:

"Why are you back on board with the NBA...?" Answer: "I'm not."

"...on board with the Bulls?" Answer: "Almost"

"...with what then?". Answer" "I dunno."

Let me explain this journey. Back in the days of the three-peats, I was lovin' every minute of it. My third favorite moment was being in the 300-level for Game 6 vs. the Seattle Supersonics on June 16, 1996. When Shawn Kemp fouled out with something like three of four minutes to go in the game - it was obvious it was the end of Seattle and sealed the 4th championship for the Bulls. I had a boss that year who was from Texas and I faxed him the Bulls season schedule during the regular seson on Feb 1 showing him the Bulls ran the table in January. He did not respond neither fax nor phone (we didn't have email at that time where I worked).

My second favorite memory of the three-peats was the first title in 1991. Not so much that it was the first Bulls championship; not that they swept the Detriot Pistons out of the playoffs or that the Detroit "bad boys" were such "bad losers", they pouted off the court with time remaining so they didn't have to shake hands with the Bulls; and not even besting the glam-trodden Los Angeles Lakers -- my favorite three-peat(s) memory is the week of games. You see, the Chicago Blackhawks were in the Stanley Cup Finals at the same time, so my friends and I would go do Moretti's in Edison Park every flippin night that week and watch Bulls/Hawks/Bulls/Hawks -- it was awsome (except the Blackhawks were swept by the Pittsburg Penguins).

Okay, so let me get to the reason why a once loyal, Chicago Bulls fan had parted ways with his team. It happened on June 27, 2001. Pre-9/11, nothing but sports seemed to matter, so that day I went with the fellas to the now closed Brother Jimmy's on Sheffield in Chicago to "put some south in yo mouth" and watch the NBA draft.

All is well, we are having a great time. Beers, bbq, laughs...and then David Stern approached the podium and it rings in my ears today: "The Chicago Bulls have traded Elton Brand..." And I lost it. I loved Elton Brand - worked hard, smart, unselfish -- the future of the post-Jordan Bulls. Well, I slammed my plastic cup of beer to the floor -- yes, ME!, mild-mannered newspaper reporter mpfogarty -- and I just lost my shit. Didn't make an incredibly big scene since it was super crowed and not a lot of people besides me the gang were watching the draft closely, but enough that I remember barking about 12 - 15 "what the fuck"s, throwing a (modest) wad of cash on the red checkerboard table cloth and storming out with bbq sauce on my fingers and draft beer on my shoes.

Silly, isn't it? But, bang on, wasn't I? Hmm? Wasn't I? Hmm....?

Well, now fast forward to Miami 2010 and those three goof-balls posing in their uniforms in front of tens of Heat fans before they played a single game -- first time I can recall a championship celebration without a trophy. With that event, my interest in the NBA began to rekindle -- not for the Bulls to win, but for James, Wade and the ugly guy to NEVER win an title together.

I'm a little disappointed my two predictions didn't pan out: the first was the math that three guys who shoot constantl trying to play together, and the other was the three hanger-on "possies" not getting along and fighting. (See Twitter riffing by @MPFOGARTY) But alas, it was not to be.

So, here I am last night, watching Game 1 of the NBA Easter Conference Finals and rooting once again for my Chicago Bulls -- basically, a team with a few guys I really didn't like - Boozer (Duke-loser) and Rose (Kentucky-like academic record at Memphis). However, since the Blackhawks are out of the NHL playoffs, I'll follow the Bulls. Why?

Because I lke my assholes better than their assholes. Know, let's go grab some bbq.

Up_yours_prima

And finally, the correction begins

Closed-door1
Those around me know how long I've been bitching about the unusually painful and bizarre recession the US recently exited. Unusally painful given it's length and unusally bizarre given how the advertising/marketing industry behaved. In a recession, the herd is thinned -- the weak players go away because they can't compete [read: the bs which worked before doesn't work anymore]. People short on talent are dismissed and agencies with bad leadership tank.

Finally, it seems the true effect is taking place with two shop shuttering their doors recently: Boston's Modernista closed last week (http://creativity-online.com/news/last-day-for-staff-at-modernista-is-friday/227248), and New York's Digital Kitchen quietly slipped into that good night sometime recently (http://www.mediabistro.com/agencyspy/did-you-know-digital-kitchen-ny-closed_b17674).

Not sure why this didn't happen 12 months ago, but this should be the beginning of the correction. 

Goof Goes Groupon

Nothing positive came out of Groupon’s Super Bowl judgment error. Some say Groupon’s bad publicity and social media dominance on Sunday night is good publicity…and if Groupon was an unknown, I’d agree. But Groupon is not an unknown.  Via their model of peer-to-peer sharing of local, daily deals and the massive media coverage of the reported rejection of Google’s $6 billion offer, we know who they are.

So how much did Groupon spend for this unnecessary and negative attention? Purchasing several commercial spots during Super Bowl Sunday, which have been reported to cost more than a million dollars per spot,  plus the cost of Screen Actors Guild talent as well as the cost of the Miami-based ad agency, Crispin Porter + Bogusky. In other words, millions of dollars! CP+B had a torrid run last decade, but saw their greatest creative mind Alex Bogusky, leave the industry last summer. Groupon paid top-dollar to produce a campaign with a Bogusky-less agency whose best work may be behind them. 

It’s never the crime, it’s the cover up that lands companies and politicians alike in an unrecoverable position. HomeAway Inc. founder Patrick Donohue apolgized for his company's Super Bowl spot which featured a toy doll smashing into a wall. Being assertive and not wanting any thought that HomeAway marginalizes the severity of child abuse, Donohue stated "There is nothing to be gained by defending this ad." (http://bit.ly/eU3Yot).

In spite that many believe Groupon was mislead by their marketing department and the agency, (Dan Primack of CNN Money http://bit.ly/dVB3Vj for one), several media outlets have reported that Groupon intends to edit the current spot. This course of action will no doubt simply revive negative feelings by current and future Groupon customers. How could it not? Groupon wants to pay more money to remind the public how dumb they were to approve the ad...?

So how does a company a little over 26 months old “lose their way” and bounce back from this PR disaster? Groupon recovers from this by going back to their roots: the company is great because they help small, local businesses grow by offering them previously unaffordable broad exposure. Groupon should completely change direction:

1. discard the concept as a sunk cost

2. admit the concept was in bad taste

3. concede it was a bad decision to air the commercials

Then hire a small, local agency to tackle this big, national problem.

 

Too Late to Donate

The Holiday charitable giving season is upon us with many-a-charity (all of whom drive worthy causes) mail you and me requesting a donation.

In non-profit marketing, this process is called "Development" (or to the commoner, fundraising).  Development Departments, the arm of the local museum, fine arts, community, civic organization, etc., sole charge is to generate cash gifts and bequests.  These departments send an appeal to you every year asking for a gift in what is usually called it's 'Annual Fund'.  You receive an Annual Fund request via direct mail or an HTML email.

Non-marketers with me now?  Good, let's go...

Every year, I believe you'd agree, Thanksgiving and Christmas arrive consistently on the calendar; yet so many charities cannot have their direct mail piece arrive at your home until it's painfully close -- and therefore overlooked -- to Thanksgiving. These good professional become mired in creative approval processes and are usually under staffed, always under capitalized and are often unable to send their appeals at the appropriate time.  

When is the appropriate, iron-clad time?  I cannot say for certain, however, you can explore a book which one friend of mine called 'the bible on fundraising': it's Penelope Burk's Donor Centered Fundraising (available here from Amazon: http://amzn.to/eaBeo7).*

For proof, as always, we require empirical evidence.  I will post here each day how many appeals I receive at home in the mail from here until...well, until I become bored.  I will list each appeal I receive as such:

Organization - Appeal Title

Today is Monday, Nov 22:

Organization - Appeal Title

Lincoln Park Zoo - A Call to Care Support Lincoln Park Zoo

March of Dimes - 2010 Matching Gift Appeal

Eleanor Foundation - Spotlight Newsletter

 

I'm in this business and wonder how many I'll get each day.  Stay tuned.

 

*In no way, shape or form do I benefit financially, socially or spiritually if you purchase Ms. Burk's book.